10 Reasons why I strongly dislike Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo is without doubt one of the best players in the Premiership and probably the world.  But this doesn’t mean I have to like him.  Here are ten reasons why I can’t stand the man.  I feel I’m not alone here.

1. He looks greasy

Now, as a Christian, I strongly believe that to judge or discriminate in any way against someone merely on the way they look is unfair and wrong.  But Cristiano Ronaldo does permanantly seem to have the look of a man who just fell into a vat of lard.

2. This book

3. The way he runs

Everytime I watch Match of the Day, I am always struck by how bizarrely Ronaldo runs when he’s on the ball.  It looks like someone has inserted a large pole up his rectum.  If only they had.

4. His whiny face when he misses the goal or doesn’t get a decision his way

5. His disgraceful behaviour in the 2006 World Cup

I’m sure that many English people will still remember the events that took place in the following two photographs and that therefore no explanation is necessary.  Ronaldo’s wink still reminds me of the back stabbing filth reminscient of Cassius in Shakespeare’s Julius Casear.

 

6. He plays for Man United

When I was growing up as a wee lad in Stevenage, the majority of my friends supported teams such as Tottenham, Chelsea, West Ham and Liverpool.  There were however a small contingent of ever growing Manchester United fans.  These ‘Red Devils’ were united by a few common denominators.  They had all abandoned their previous teams in favour of the new dominant force in the Prem.  They all had absolutely no affliation with the city of Manchester and most importantly, they were all obnoxiously loud.  It was the influence of the actions of this group, coupled with Man Utd’s dominance of the last 15 years which I believe has forever left me with a strong disliking of Man Yoo.  The fact that Ronaldo plays for them, has only made matters worse. 

(It should be noted that I have since met many respectable Man Utd fans, but still the usual cretin will pop into my life and spout some drivel, thus compounding my extreme dislike for said Manchester side).

7. His arrogance

Perhaps I am reading too much into it, but its the way that when he scores he gives everyone else around that condescending ‘Of course I was going to do that’ look. The man loves himself, and he loves the fact that in the summer big teams were desperate to sign him. 

8. The fact that if he merely sneezes in the penalty area, the ref always seems to point to the spot

A fine case in point is the recent penalty that was awarded to Mr Ronaldo in the match against Bolton.  While making one of his usual runs against the defence, he tried to go all the way before he was stopped by a superb and heroic tackle by J.Lloyd Samuel.  It was a tackle timed to perfection.  The Bolton players and fans saw a fair tackle, the Man Utd fans and players likewise, Alex Ferguson’s gum chewing red face saw a fair tackle, even the blind Steward outside the ground saw a fair tackle, but the ref flew in the face of common sense and decency and once again handed Man Utd three points all because Ronaldo fell over. 

9. His earring and the former blonde highlight

Does anyone else remember that stupid little blond highlight he had on one piece of hair when he started playing for united?  Disgraceful.

10. The fact that he hasn’t had his come-uppance

Most of the great evil in this world eventually has its ‘day of justice’.  Napoleon had his Waterloo, Hitler was forced to commit suicide as his dreams crumbled around him, even Nina Myers of 24 fame was eventually helplessly shot by a vengeful Jack Bauer.  Yet Cristiano Ronaldo has yet to receive his ‘just desserts’.  And the thing that grates me most about this is that it almost came.  Almost.  When in last years Champions League final penatly shootout, Ronaldo missed his kick putting his team in serious jeopardy, I almost soiled myself in a mix of wonderful surprise and unadulterated joy.  After weeks of hearing Utd fans go on and on about how brilliant he had been that season and how he was the best player in the world he almost ruined everything.  But then John Terry stepped up with a doomed look on his face, as if he knew he was going to miss. And miss he did, thus rescuing an undeserving Ronaldo. 

I still live in hope that his day will come, but know that in reality, it will probably never happen.  Just to spite me.

Disclaimer: It should be noted that my hatred for Ronaldo is purely in a footballing sense.  In reality, if I ever met him, I would be compelled to ‘love my enemy’ and respect him as someone made in the image of God.  I would still like to give him a slap, but wish him no harm outside of the footballing arena.  In the arena however, I wouldn’t mind it at all if John Terry broke both his legs and ended his footballing career. 

James

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14 Comments on “10 Reasons why I strongly dislike Cristiano Ronaldo”


  1. A fine piece of investigative journalism. And thoroughly impartial, I might add. Very impressive.

  2. Dave Tonks Says:

    My blood was boiling just reading this. I hate that guy !!!

  3. Jim Magee Says:

    I’d like to ground his face on a spinning tire.

  4. Simon Moores Says:

    And i thought you such a gentle soul Jim, 🙂

  5. queenmothersbiggestfan Says:

    Even gentle souls such as Jim Magee wish him tortoureous retribution. He’s that annoying.

  6. Monique Says:

    I think c. ronaldo is a mushy person . (thats a good thing ) i love u ronaldo !

  7. queenmothersbiggestfan Says:

    What an odd adjective to describe Mr Ronaldo, but fair enough.

  8. bananaskin Says:

    i just think he is freakin hot hehe

  9. yo Says:

    whoever wrote this article is jealous of him

  10. Simon Dron Says:

    I don’t think you read the title – ’10 reasons why i strongly dislike cristiano ronaldo’ and not ’10 reasons why i’m strongly jealous of cristiano ronaldo’.

  11. queenmothersbiggestfan Says:

    Yeah thats right, I’m jealous of him. For goodness sake.

  12. fizz Says:

    ur dumb!!!!!! hes sickkkkk!!!! man united 4eva

  13. Simon Dron Says:

    ”hes sickkkkk!!!!”

    Really?! Oh no! I hope its not serious. Give him my love and we all hope he gets better soon!

  14. queenmothersbiggestfan Says:

    Well argued fizz. I was truly humbled by your well argued and detailed rebuttal of my argument.


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